list four - all time favorite songs

I am limiting myself to 50...in no particular order.

1. The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel

2. Dead Flowers by The Rolling Stones

3. The Promise Land by Bruce Springsteen

4. Smoke Stack Lighting by Howlin' Wolf

5. The Man I Love by Billie Holiday

6. Blue Moon by Elvis Presley

7. Big River by Johnny Cash

8. Cold, Cold Heart by Hank Williams

9. Because the Night by Patti Smith

10. Reach for the Sky by Social Distortion

11. Come Thou Fount by Sufjan Stevens

12. The Garden by Cut Chemist

13. In Your Room by Depeche Mode

14. Poses by Rufus Wainwright

15. Try a Little Tenderness by Otis Redding

16. A Day in the Life by The Beatles

17. Real Love by The Beatles

18. Skylark by K.D. Lang

19. This Woman's Work by Kate Bush

20. Stardust by Nat King Cole

21. I've Got You Under My Skin by Frank Sinatra

22. Witchcraft by Frank Sinatra

23. The Man that Got Away by Judy Garland

24. Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland

25. Fade Into You by Mazy Star

26. Send Me On My Way by Rusted Root

27. Wonderwall by Oasis

28. Bubble Toes by Jack Johnson

29. Baba O'Reily by The Who

30. Let the River Run by Carly Simon

31. Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell

32. Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper

33. I Was Made to Love Her by Stevie Wonder

34. If Not For You by Bob Dylan

35. Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen

36. These Are the Days by Van Morrison

37. Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2

38. A Rush of Blood to the Head by Coldplay

39. Please, Please, Please Me by The Smiths

40. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division

41. Title and Registration by Death Cab for Cutie

42. The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by The Postal Service

43. Close to Me by The Cure

44. Pitseleh by Elliott Smith

45. Let Go by Frou Frou

46. Things Behind the Sun by Nick Drake

47. Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams

48. Just What I Needed by The Cars

49. Mary Jane's Last Dance by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers

50. Rollin' Stone by Muddy Waters

Just the tip of the ice berg.

Where have you been the last 28 years!?!

First off, no, that is not me, but...

I have always loved the mystery and beauty of yoga. It is an art form to me the way that the body can lengthen and stretch becoming so flexible that positions like above are possible.

Lately, I have been attending yoga sessions at least three times a week. I have found that my head is clearer from all of the chaos and chatter and my body is getting leaner, stronger and in balance. After years of feeling down about my body, I am seeing amazing changes; not only physically but also mentally.

There is something to the quietness and the slowing down that happens during yoga. The focus is directed on your muscles and your breathing; keeping both strong. In a world that never seems to silence itself and reflect, there is yoga.

Over the next three months, I am challenging myself to follow a strict yoga and running regimen. It is my goal to practice at least 4 times a week! And after working with a close friend Julie, I am going to put my intention out there for the whole internet world to see!

Sunday: Day off or outside activity...yeah hiking!
Monday: morning run for 30 minutes and evening yoga
Tuesday: morning run for 30 minutes and evening yoga
Wednesday: morning run for 30 minutes and evening yoga
Thursday: morning run for 30 minutes and evening yoga
Friday: morning run
Saturday: morning yoga

I'm excited to see how focusing this much time on my body will pay off! I'll keep you updated and will post a picture when the top position is achieved!

Anger. Angered. Angry.

Today was a bad day...
a really bad day.

"Passionate people have the hardest time with thinking that they failed." - R. W. Emerson

There are many things that I have learned from my parents, but one of the lessons that has helped me get to where I am today, is my passionate work ethic. I love to be challenged and to work hard at accomplishing goals. And, what is funny is that I do not work hard for the praise of others but I do so because I love the feeling of knowing that I have done an amazing job in my own heart and mind.

For the past four years, I have been working for an amazing non-profit agency. The agency works to empower at-risk youth to complete high school and then obtain their dreams of higher education in order to become self sustaining and efficient adults. I can honestly say that I have poured my soul into this organization; working very long hours, making personal sacrifices and feeling like I have aged 30 years. All of these "drawbacks" have been worth it because I love the mission and the students within the program.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have felt disillusioned...almost lost to why I have been working myself to the proverbial bone and allowing my health, happiness and relationships to fail all around me.

So, that brings me to today. I received an e-mail. A nasty e-mail that made me break down in terrible sobs and question A LOT. Now, to someone outside of the work world that I am in would have brushed the e-mail off and moved on but today the words that made up the message took me to my knees. I believe it has been a combination of seeing how much of myself that has been lost over the last couple of years, a feeling of failure based on the e-mail and being SO tired.

It is now time to step away...in what way, I am not certain but something needs to change. I refuse to be a casualty to work-a-holism and continue to age mentally and physically at an alarming rate.

"It is time to start being me now!"

Living Life

"Every man dies; not every man truly lives."

I believe that part of being an "adult" is having to deal with emotions that as children we do not experience; emotions like fear of failure, fear of not living up to potential and insecurity within ourselves based on materialism. Looking at the people around me who are of this fearful age, it is hard to see any sense of self awareness, satisfaction or peace. We are all walking around like zombies but instead of craving a tasty brain, we are glass eyed, emotionless and craving some freedom from the fear that has turned us into these half dead creatures. FEAR being the important word.

We fear not being in the right profession, not making enough money, not being with the right person, not finding "someone," not having the right look, not having the right attitude...and the list drudges on...

All of this makes me wonder, "Is there a way to live life without fear?"

With all of the beauty, passion, wonder and magic that shows brilliance through the small things, I believe that it is possible. I think it takes believing in our abilities, trusting God and being "okay" with who we are and not hiding our true selves away.

Life goes by so quickly and why cheapen the experience with any aversion to a full and awe-inspiring affair with the world that surrounds.

list three - all time favorite 80's movies

1. Pretty in Pink...class issues, love, great clothes and the ultimate ant-hero Ducky Dale

2. Raising Arizona...quirky, hilarious, meaningful - how could it be better?

3. Uncle Buck...this movie will always remind me of being young.

4. Dead Poet Society...passion, passion, passion...

5. 16 Candles

6. The Goonies

7. The Breakfast Club..."When you grow up, your heart dies." Something I remind myself not to do daily...

8. Weird Science

9. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

10. Field of Dreams

11. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

12. Say Anything...To know Lloyd Dobler is to love him...Diane Court is about to know Lloyd Dobler.

13. 9 to 5

14. 9 1/2 Weeks

15. Beetlejuice

16. The Burbs

17. The Money Pit

18. Bachelor Party

19. Mannequin

20. St. Elmo's Fire

Growing Up

So, I am 28 years old and I still have moments when I am not thinking completely in the present and I feel like I am 16 years old again...carefree, artistic and really happy. When my right mind takes over again, I feel sad; realizing how much I have changed from that go-lucky teen.

I wonder when we hit the point when magic, innocent beauty and being okay without an overabundance of "stuff" fades into the need to be more, have more and see things with a rough, angry and cynical lining.

How hard is it to be purely happy? How hard is it not to want stuff? How hard is it to live in the moment and see things with simple beauty and intense wonderment?

Try it for 15 minutes, a day, a week and see what happens...

Fall down the rabbit hole once more.

list two-all time favorite smells

(for february)

1. clean laundry

2. gardenia

3. fracas perfume

4. the ocean

5. johnson & johnson baby lotion...the original

6. jeans after they have been worn a few times

7. lacome make-up pressed translucent powder

8. the glue that is used to hold books together

9. Hume when he gets dressed in the morning

10. fresh oranges